Election Day Haiku

Haiku Inferno performed this last weekend at the Rally To Restore Sanity in Portland. Despite the crappy weather, it was a good time. We even got a photo taken with a Sarah Palin lookalike!

Haiku Inferno: L to R: Elizabeth Miller, Frank D'Andrea, Palin!, B. Frayn Masters, Kevin Sampsell

Here are the haiku we read at the event.

CHRIS DUDLEY HAIKU

(Elizabeth Miller)

The basketball star
or the cowboy?  Leather boots
will kick leather balls.

(Frank D’Andrea)

The name says it all
He makes John Kerry seem all
sexy and limber

(Kevin Sampsell)

Giant from the ‘couv
air ball free throws should be taxed
fouling out again

(B. Frayn Masters)

Governor Dudley’s
Game plan sours in fourth quarter
Traded to Utah

NPR VS. JUAN WILLIAMS HAIKU

(EM)

Juan runs screaming from
Bed Bath & Beyond.  He saw
sheets made of muslin.

(FD)

Dangling, oiled and
naked from brass pole; you’re next
Mara Liasson

(KS)

Which side of your mouth
will you speak out of this week
The right or the left

(BFM)

Born in Colon, Panama
near the Canal Zone. Poor Juan,
lives life in the Taint.

DON’T ASK DON’T TELL HAIKU

(EM)

You’re not good enough
to blow up men if you are
good at blowing men.

(FD)

Moral debate: Does
it matter who you’re kissing,
Christine O’Donnell?

(KS)

They have pretty eyes
Those dusty soldiers in green
sexy camouflage

(BFM)

Army Halloween
Party goes silent when someone
asks, “What are you?”

TEA PARTY HAIKU

(EM)

Child’s gathering
filled with dolls with empty heads

all playing pretend.

(FD)

Wackos, uninformed,
dreamers; they must not win: sick
of the Democrats

(KS)

Dressed as patriots
this ironic Halloween,
kids ask for hand outs

(BFM)

Training kids to be
smart is elite. Spelling
Bee’s make them fascists.

SECOND AMENDMENT HAIKU

(EM)

Turkey hunting with
Uzis.  Lock and load ’cause it’s
your God given right.

(FD)

Lubed, unloaded gun
Glenn Beck moans “more”; second
amendment remedy

(KS)

Guns don’t kill people
angry goth kids in high school
do. with dad’s rifles.

(BFM)

Guns are like hotdogs
you can get’em cheap at the
Wasco county fair

OBAMA MID TERM HAIKU

(EM)

Post-Halloween G-
O-P zombies descend to
eat Obama’s soul

(FD)

Wired to implode,
empty black-Plastic case – FOUND!
Obama’s promise.

(KS)

His last sparks of youth
extinguished by the right wing
hair turning gray ash

(BFM)

Obama walks into
a bar. Joe Sixpack says here’s
a beer…keep your change.

CELEBRITIES IN POLITICS HAIKU

(EM)

Read scripts and get paid
to perform.  Can politi-
cians act? “Yoo betcha!”

(FD)

Liberals are wrong
this rally is not for them
Jon Stewart mocks you too

(KS)

I worship Sean Penn
His Kool-aid tastes just like Milk
I drank several cups

(BFM)

Time for your Oprah
surprise! Check under your chair, I
filled out your ballot!

FOUNDING FATHERS HAIKU

(EM)

If John Adams heard
Glenn Beck speak he’d strangle him
to death with his wig.

(FD)

If you don’t like what’s
Going on, get out and vote -
YOUR FAULT Bush won twice.

(KS)

The founders didn’t
have white hair and guns. They had
brown skin and arrows.

(BFM)

Jefferson cut, paste
his account of the Bible.
Scrapbooking Party

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